i haven't been very spiritually active when i chanced upon this on jasmine's blog.and i just want to share it with the little bit more people who reads my blog, hoping that it touches ur heart and revive ur passion for the Lord.

This is just my 2 cents' worth of something I hold very close to my heart.I'm not here to start a war, so please understand, I'm not here to shove my opinions down your throat, nor am I brainwashing anyone here.

I just read a friend's blog about her views on Christianity and I totally understand how she's feeling.In fact, I think she does have a few valid points. Yes, the church in general has had scandals, there have been public as well as private stories of how cheating, lying, back-stabbing, harassment and general very un-Christian-like behaviour has occured.

I can't deny it.What about my own personal life? Yes, I have had bad times. Sometimes I don't understand why things happen, sometimes I even wonder whether it's worth it to sacrifice so much for a magic invisble man high in the sky.Especially in the June-August period, which was a particularly bad season for me, it took a lot of faith to stay committed and not just drop everything and run. Even now... I've had patches of rays of sunshine in my life, and I'm very grateful for them. But I still haven't fully recovered from the blow I received.

But I've led a life without God before. I know the emptiness it brings. I know what it's like to wonder if there is anyone in the world that truly cares about you for who you are, and not for your status, your achievements, your worth.I know what it's like for the whole world to turn their backs against you, and I know what it's like to feel absolutely alone with no one to turn to, not even family, not even your closest friends.I know what it's like to be discriminated. I know what it's like to be eaten up by jealousy and spite and anger.I know what it's like to feel fear. I know what it's like to feel that everyone is better than you.I know what it's like to be the little oddball in class who did weird things and have everyone laugh at you. (It's one of my first memories in fact.) I lived that life before.

And you thought my life was a perfect little ray of sunshine! Nah, I was a demented little freak. Ask any of my secondary school friends, they'll tell you how I used to get angry over the littlest of things (like them laughing at me for fun?) and giving them the cold shoulder for a few weeks. Actually I still wonder how they managed to put up with me. LOVE LOVE SACians!

I appreciate the love of God all the better now. And I see the difference He's made in my life now, and the difference He wants to make. I know I've improved in character. (Thank goodness. LOL!) I know God has blessed me with people who truly love me. I know that I am far more valuable than any other valuable entity in this world, because the maker of heaven chose to die for me.

I can't explain why some Christians choose to act the way that they do. But ultimately please remember, that Christians, we aren't perfect people, we're just forgiven. We try to be good, but sometimes we stumble and fall too.In short, we're just like you, just that we have one more thing.

We chose to accept the love of God.

That's what we fight for, that's what we live for, that's we strain towards.A love that is everlasting, a love that is pure and perfect, a love that transcends all understanding.

The older I get, the more I understand. And the more I understand, the more I doubt. The more I doubt, the more it seems I shouldn't believe.But I cannot deny that God is real, and that God loves me.So the more I believe.

How true the last paragraph is!how often i wrestle with my believe,knowing that it's impossible that i know everything about what i truly believe and placed my faith in.it's hard to convey how christianity is not just about an emotional support but something more than that.
i wish that i could just be more determined to use my free time to clear my doubts about my faith.

i had my down times,He was with me.through my good times,He was still with me,showering me with His blessings.in the busy-ness of uni life,i had just this tiny tendency to shove him away when everything was overwhleming.im guilty of that.and i was really grateful for the timely reminder jasmine's post gave me.i knew how this is the God who created the heavens and the Earth, who always stood by me, who gives me strength when im weak.

Thank you Lord.and i can't thank you enough.

/Lord i want to come under your heavenly hands
and to praise you in all that i do/

+ val-* @ 5:02 PM

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