preceptorship is finally over.
i leave ncc with mixed feelings,
it's really a long story.
like what mummy sham said,
through this experience i know what i want to be and what not to be.
and sometimes we just have to not work too hard but to do our best.
that we are accountable to God and not to men.

i just cant believe that...
ohwells.decided not to say it here.
but i was very affected by it,
gosh i need to take things with a more open heart.

on a happier note, i was extremely touched by my o/p colleagues!
i was crying so much because i truly felt their concern and their sincerity(:
so maluating hahahaha.
now i'll just have to move forward and continue to do my best and be me!(:

+ val-* @ 11:29 AM

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HEEHEE MY NEW BUY!
cant believe i still got time to shop now that it's preceptorship.
well actually i bought it at compasspoint while going there to print some photos and buy dinner.
which took me only less than 2 hours?
i kind of went there with a list of stuff to do alr so i took pretty fast for everything=D
anw i bought this cos my face is peeling from the aircon all day long!
and i have some allergic reaction to dont know which seafood which is another story
that gave me rashes on my upper chest, neck and chin area!! D:
now i know how that patient with acneiform rash felt and his was 10x worse than mine=x
anw i got even dryer skin thanks to the allergic reaction too somehow.
so i decided to get this after i was reminded how effective it was for me when i was in europe=D
hopefully it works!!! im getting annoyed at the dryness heh.

+ val-* @ 11:58 PM

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WHUTTTT NO PKTK???*bish*
it's not cos of the lecturers, im not really interested in the content of other electives!!!!
geez.
the list under the pharm dept mod electives is so deceiving.
they have so many nice modules that they didn't put it this time,
leaving us with all the not so clinical stuff.
medchem they put up the comp one instead of the bioorganic one which i wouldnt have minded.
so got no more choice liao.
aiya, need to bid then see how bah lol.

+ val-* @ 12:14 PM

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super tired.
these few days i keep falling asleep immediately after dinner.
it's damn bad cos i have a mini test on fri but i just keep wanting to sleep.
solution: gotta study at work! sometimes i rather pack or observe but bobian only during work im awake (how ironic)
sleeeeepi.
after the case presentation my motivation to do homework plunged like crazy.
gee i just dozed off in front of the comp for a few minutes again.
keep doing that.
no good val, gotta keep going!

+ val-* @ 10:04 PM

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instead of doing some self study that is kind of required for o/p but not demanded of me
i decided to stop for awhile (actually i've been nuaing ever since my case presentation was over)
and ponder about the issues that i've always have with myself.

i feel kind of abit weird saying my thoughts abt myself here, but aiya heck.

it goes that i always like to compare myself with others.
it's not necessarily in a competitive way,
but i dont like to present myself as better or worse than my partner/peers in front of mentors etc.
so i'd rather hold back my soap if my partner hasnt done it yet, and i certainly dont mind sharing the answers i've found so that we'll kind of be on equal grounds.
then i realised that you can be equal in the academics,
but our characters will still show the difference.
sometimes i ask myself,
is it better to be more quiet serious and consistent
or to be smiley, outspoken and confident?
it's kind of difficult to strike a balance,
i can be either but not both.
i can see the adv of both la,
so i guess i'll conclude that i should just be myself
and accept the evaluation no matter what the grade is.
i keep telling myself to try my best for this preceptorship cos that's how work life is going to be like in the future, but in the end the best still wasnt ideal.to me la.that's just me, always having crazy expectations of myself. but again i wouldn't be discouraged or dejected by my performance this time, i'll be sure to do better when im out as a pre-reg!=D

anyway, after stopping not to only see the good points of others but also my own, i've realised that to each his/her own. instead of feeling inferior to others, i should work on my good points and make them better!afterall each indiv is different so that we can complement each other to make a good team!=D

and after saying so much, im once again too lazy to do my self study. all my resolve in doing the drug DI workup is gone with the wind.sandman, here i come!

+ val-* @ 11:17 PM

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LOLOLOL.thanks to all the seniors that added him.
i just thought it was amusing that it would even appear in that column.
not that i havent found him previously ahahaha im a stalker.
XD

+ val-* @ 9:58 PM

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i took a 10min nap.
that becoame 2 hours.
or rather, that almost became my night's sleep.
only to set my alarm, dry my hair andtake a sip of water
and write this here,
and im goign to bed alr.
gosh!dont know why i feel so tired today.
thankfully tmr's just attending talks. which means that it'll be quite intensive also!
at least im sitting there and listening.
the hardest work i'll have to do is to TRY AND STAY AWAKE.
that's how tough.

okay cranky me is typing alot of rubbish.
goodnights.

+ val-* @ 10:39 PM

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today is a crazy insane day in which i was awake for 21hours.
at least my presentation is over and it was alright.
ok the clock just striked 12.
goodnights world im going to concuss.

+ val-* @ 11:56 PM

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gosh i cant believe i woke up at 3am to finish my presentation.
pray hard that it'll be alright later!
*fingers crossed*
at night, i just need a good night's sleep(:

+ val-* @ 6:03 AM

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before i go back to my case, just gotta jot down the 2 events that happened today.

1) today, one of the uncles in church who used to fetch me around when i didn't have a car and who fetch me to malaysia for the church retreat passed me an envelope. in it was a singapore-brunei $20 note. i was shocked i tell u!i was like, so stunned i didn't know whether he meant to let me see see or to keep it but i kept it 1st cos it was weird to take out to see in front of the rest. so paiseh!! at the same time i was very touched. the reason why he gave it to me was cos he kind of knew i collected old money (well actually i dont, i just have a poorly maintained stash kept in the original state as how my grandfather passed it to me). on the was to the msia retreat, which was mid june this yr, i was just talking to his son who was collecting 5cent coins in the hope that it will be valuable when it becomes obselete like 1cent coins. so i was just joking and said why not collect $1 coin also gold colour but more valuable haha. then not sure why we all started talking about collecting notes and i just mentioned the stack that my grandfather gave me, which had the old sg $20 note, the one with the bird. and the uncle asked if i have seen the sg brunei $20, which i havent. and the convo kind of stopped there, and i kind of forgot abt it until he passed me the $20 today. so touched! it kind of motivated me to get like a notes collection book of some sort to organise my grandfather's stack of notes, to preserve them in a better condition!

2) on my way home in the multistory carpark, there was a sports car in front of me. that driver, was apparently having problem with the turbo or what im not sure, but i think he had problem controlling the turbo while cornering up the slope. he kind of did all the sharp turns very abruptly, always having to break after stepping on the turbo, or sth like that. it was very awkward to watch him drive. then it came to a level where there was a car that was waiting at the corner where you have to turn up to the next story. the car was actually not really obstructing the way cos it was really at the corner corner already, and my carpark isnt that narrow.but the sports car just kept high beaming the poor car, which i kind of watched in amusement. then suddenly the sport car reversed ON TURBO. I CHUA TIO I TELL YOU COS I COULDNT REVERSE WITH A CAR BEHIND ME.luckily he stopped just in time without hitting my car phew. unable to stand his pathetic control of the car, i overtook him (see my carpark isnt narrow at all) and went up first, with the car behind me following suit. u can say that my car is small but the car behind me was a camry if im not wrong. so after parking and leaving the story, i saw a guy in his twenties stepping out of the sports car, WEARNG THE AH PEH WHITE SINGLET gosh how sporty is that. so feeling really amused i was already on the 1st floor when i heard from upstairs "bye kanchiong spider". i didnt even pause my footstep or respond to it but honestly i was feeling all the more amused by it lol! i was just protecting my own safety really, cos if i stayed longer i wonder if my car would have a dent now or sth. or maybe my eyes would be blinded by the high beam. he was seriously high beaming the car in front at a super near distance and for abt 30sec or so, not intermittent k, it was most of the time on than off haha. that poor car. if he roused me enough i was turn around and give him a sickly smile and a sincere advice to learn how to handle his car better to avoid causing inconvenience to others.seriously.im so highly amused that i don't even feel angry at him cos it's not worth my anger haha!

so those were the 2 incidents. and just one last thing before i return to my case, i think it's really a blessing that i get to study her problem in detail. because i would kept her in my mind day and night all the time to do up the presentation and look out for relevant info. it's not all the time that we're so blessed to spend so much time "caring" or planning a treatment or to evaluate a treatment plan for a more unusual/rare condition. i would just want to request for a prayer for my "case", because my "case" is a real life patient who really needs a prayer from anyone who would bother to pray for her. can't reveal much, but she's pregnant with breast cancer, just pray that both she and the baby would be safe(: May God's healing hands be on her!thanks to all kind souls out there!=D

+ val-* @ 2:13 PM

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LOL my bro got puked on by some drunkard on his way to work today suay.

his complaint: walao i didn't even puke even though i drank damn alot ytd night, then today morning kena puke on my way to work!

i couldn't stop laughing when i heard his complaint cos...

he DID puke ytd night HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
i was going to bathe when i heard him puking in the toilet lol!
and he still used the spray to wash the toilet floor and the toilet bowl (he was wondering how on earth could he still do that HAHA)
which resulted in some puke residue on the spray handle yucks!
he kind of did it in a haste because he heard my mum's voice (that was on retrospect when i reminded him today)
and acted normal and changed his clothes when he saw my mum lol!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i couldnt stop laughing when i recounted the whole incident to him today, who was almost absolutely clueless and could only recall things backwards gradually.
hangover amnesia, seriously.

and i extorted some macs twister fries from him for keeping it from my mum HAHA.
such a cheapo meXD

now, back to doing my case presentation. i think im going to be pretty knowledgeable (i wouldn't claim to be an expert cos it's prob only the tip of the iceberg) in pregnancy and also in breast cancer soon, it's pretty cool reallyXD but what's below the iceberg is pretty large, especially when they are combined, undiscovered by anyone else, so complicated!pray hard that i'll survive the bullet shots during the presentation!

+ val-* @ 2:13 PM

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i am so disappointed in myself!
although i am sick but haiz doesnt warrant my poor attitude.
so torn between going to work and staying at home to rest for these 3 days cos it's the last 3 days at ambulatory care and i wanted to make the most out of it. and supposed to go for ward rounds with ac today. in the end he sprained his ankle zzz mei you yuan fen.

spend almost my whole day doing my case presentation. it was exceptionally sian for me because i don't really have to do my case there since i dont have to use any of the systems there already, could have done it at home at my own time. and i just wanted to spend abit more time there experiencing whatever i would only get to experience there before i go to outpatient. i tried explaining it to my preceptor but i think i did a bad job explaining. think he dont get what i mean haha. but he's right also that i don't have much time to do my case already so should make use of my time there to do.

so now i feel damn guilty, cos talk halfway then we got interrupted. so i didn't manage to clear the air. having a steaming brain doesnt really help in thinking straight either. i was shivering and chattering one moment and sweating the next! screwed up thermostat damn. sigh. nvm, i'll jiayou for the weekends and do a good job for my presentation!hopefully i can rush it out in time, there's like tonnes to read!

jiayou val you can do it!=D

+ val-* @ 7:19 PM

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the past few days have been crazily busy. but still i was enjoying myself very much because i got to try new things and learn new things(:

1) dispense
2) breast and lymphoma ward rounds
3) studied a leukemic patient
4) medication review management for elderly
5) tmr im going for clinics with the doctor
6) tmr im going to experience a realtime med review
7) someday later will be learning about clinical trials (they're pretty huge in ncc)

right now im abit overloaded.
1) my case presentation is next wed but i was only given the case file today gosh! it's relatively simple, but just see how much other stuff i have to do to know that my sleep is going to be sacrificed.
2) dr chan is giving us a quiz on drug info next tue (WTH 1 day before my presentation?!). gotta check out 9 reference books and what they provide
3) dr chan gave us homework to do, and SHUNBIAN read 2 chpts of dipiro. plus the one i have to read for my case, that's 3 to be read today oh.my.

i can see my weekend burning out whoo. my health is kind of not gd now (daily multivits didn't quite help), just praying i dont get a fever, don't wanna miss any day at work!

okay, can't spend alot of time here.ciao!

+ val-* @ 8:25 PM

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another week down!

hmm, this week hasnt been altogether great,
lots of downs, but only with the downs then you'll realise how ups some things are(:

1) my awesome partner lovelove!
xiaohui is such an awesome partner i tell you.
not sure why our paths never really crossed before this,
but we actually have quite alot of similarities and work quite well with each other(:
like how anal we are about small things like formatting haha,
to our likes, dislikes and character,
i think we complement each other pretty well!
of course we influence each other sometimes in weird ways,
our small habits unknowingly being assimilated into each others habits
super amusing and makes work alot more enjoyable!
and she's always very supportive when im not in the best of mood!
like we always say to each other, kam xia very much xiaohui!!!

2) our awesome papa
HAHA, we have a papa who is older than us by about 7-8 years.LOL.
he teaches us with utmost patience,
never made us feel stupid
always showing us about things in a very systematic way
willing to listen to us and all our nonsense
quite serious but never ever loses his temper or sound impatient
will joke sometimes to make us feel less stressed when we talk about our case
willing to share with us about his own experiences and resources
and while he was commenting that recently he's abit busier cos the rest are on congress and he still has to look out for us, he still said that it's not our fault and that he's here to teach us AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! he was saying it so sincerely you bet me and xiaohui were really touched by it(:
the only one who would notice us around AND say something to us
without him we're like orphans haha
i could go on and on and on,
he's definitely on par with EC and HHK!

3) the PTs!
honestly, they are so much more friendly to us than the pharmacists in general!
always joking to us
and whenever they see us, they will always greet us with a bright smile and a morning!
the morning! is really with the exclamation mark, super cute man all of them(:
not that ALL pharmacists ignore us la, there are still some that would smile at us sometimes haha.

4) the patients
nownow, im sure you all would already know that this is not a generalisation
there are really annoying and rude patients
but most of them really make our day!!
very cooperative and open about sharing their condition with us
saying that if reading the case files would help then go ahead and read them
asking us if we have anymore questions for them because they would help us as much as possible
wishing us all the best in our studies
and waving bye to us
shoooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
they really put a smile to my face and spur me on in my pursuit to be a good pharmacist(:

5) i am feeling more positive about stuff!
i think i am a very emotionally driven person,
easily influenced by the mood of others and the entire atmosphere
so thankfully i dont feel dejected for a long time(:
im pretty much alright over the wkends already!
and ready to believe that next week it'll be even better,
with more exposure to different things waiting for us!
there's also the spc congress this coming weekend,
with the friday seminars held at ncc (so i'll probably get to attend=D)
and i have no homework over the wkends hurrah
so i get to read up stuff about cancer that i want to find out(:
honestly, oncology is a really interesting field!
compared to just learning ur stuff off lecture notes,
when u read up yourself and get all the description and details
it makes everything more interesting and applicable(:
and to see it being applied in the real life setting drills the info in even more!

im really excited now! praying hard for an exciting week next week=DD

+ val-* @ 4:01 PM

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