it is dooms day for like an entire school.
or rather, it's either u're already doomed or raised to the high heavens.

for a year 3 cohort who were totally green-faced from mugging and the panic of not being able to finish their papers, this day sure didnt bode well.
but i guess with super low expectations the results should bring some consolation,
it probably aint as bad as u expected.

as usual i dont have the habit of broadcasting my results on my blog,
but i would say it was really a pleasant surprise this morning at 745,
considering that i thought it would be one of my worst sems with pharmville and a dance concert smack in the midst of exams.
and that it would drag my cap down to 1st class no more.
but it actually neutralise the drop in cap last sem!
now my cap is back to the same as yr2sem2!

and GOODNEWS IS THAT I WON A TREAT=DDD
so much for betting during exams, i usually dont win and this one was a really close shave man!i think we differ by 1 grade for 1 mod onlyXD now i gotta think of where to eat=DDD

+ val-* @ 2:21 PM

_________

heehee, i had a fun and at the same time thoughtful day.kind of didnt really expect the company, but it's the company i've been wanting to ask out for quite some time alr!just short of 1 person haha. and it's quite amusing, the advice that they gave me, not that im taking it lightly but it's really not bothering me. cos i entrusted it to God you know. and when you entrust your burdens and worries to God, it's lifted from you; not that it doesnt matter, but i dont have to think of ways to make it happen, or question why on earth im walking this path in life. things may not exactly be ideal but it's really alright, im happy with my life(: maybe some things are worth fighting for, when the time comes i'll know whether i should fight for it then=D

i think some things are really just a pity, but i guess when you cant really do anything about it then you really cant do anything about it.but you can change ur mindset!call me idealistic, but it makes a difference to have a positive mindset versus a negative mindset(: and accepting reality doesnt mean staying on the spot; you're right, we've got to move on and do our very best no matter what. kind of reminded me of pharmville, when pple thought it's not possible, we did it. and in saying this line, reminded me of how impossible singapore was in the past, but we did it too=DD when we carry a hope in us in our lives, it keeps us going and directs our path. faith keeps us persevering, fueling the hope in us. just one step at a time, and when the time comes you'll know it, i'll know it(:

+ val-* @ 2:29 AM

_________

this wk was a happy week(:

on mon i went shopping with shufen!
very fruitful indeed!



HEEHEE!!i almost bought shoes also but i kind of thought i spent enough for a dayXD
and it was the last BSF session before the school hol break,
and after group sharing somehow today everyone didnt really rush downstairs and waited for each other, and most of us sat together for the lecture=DD

tue i met yw xj and mandy for dinner,
we ate astons@cathay.
haha it was fun!
also learnt about new stuff like using frozen cabbage to stop lactation(like wth right)
and also about funny incidents in preceptorship!
pretty chillax, and then we went for tauhuay!
i was quite shocked cos i thought everyone would want to rush home after a tired day at work. but i was happy for the extended gathering time(:

wed i went to church to do song book compilation,
super fun!
we did stupid things, even played a random game that was super hilarious in the midst of hard workXD and we had dinner at delifrance. with 3 guys around i heard quite abit of ns stories and had quite a nice fellowship(: we actually talked for 3hrs wow!

thurs i met up with my dear guardian chummies!
it's a pity that reshma wasnt there cos we met at suntec!
had dinner at astons (again) and i ate the same thing but different side dishes haha.
the cathay one tasted better actually but the service is better here at suntec!
didnt barr me from going in while the rest werent here at least!
i would say today's dinner was exceptionally chatty LOL!
and we went to red mango for yoghurt(:
i must say the yoghurt impressed me! i had quite alot of yoghurt and was very happy with it=D
the end of the day was filled with some awkward silence,
and just when i was about to suggest heading home kaye just suddenly turned to me and we both burst out laughing HAHAHAHAHA.it's quite hilarious actually.
but after that the convo actually went on for quite awhile!
we left the place at 10. this has to be my latest outing this wk man!
and of course i was very happy with this outing too=D

that being said, i felt that every effort put in to organise these outings were really worth it(:
although the pple arent the usual ones i hang out with, but it's a different kind of happiness mixing around with different pple(:

tmr will be another outing!although it'll be mainly guys bleah but i get to see my classmates=DD
and i bet this one will be the latest HAHA. unless of course i dont feel well=x which is highly likely=( i think i might just go for dinner and not the drinking or leave after 1 mug of beer cos i've been sick and not getting better=x im so drawn to all these outings that i cant help but go although i feel kind of horrible inside haha. cant blame me cos im cooped up at home otherwise!

next week will be movie week!!!=D im kind of looking forward to it too! although it's been abit hard trying to coordinate stuff but it's okay i have alot of time!and if i organise the batch 1 pple get to relax after work and go out for abit!=D

excitess!!!

+ val-* @ 11:47 PM

_________

yay(:

i felt encouraged after last night!
should take more initiatives!
kind of worth every trouble it comes with(:
cant really settle the movie stuff now,
but there's a will there's a way!
=D

and i realised my blog is pretty boring to read haha.
no pictures!
guess i kind of got lazy.but i'll include the bintan pictures when i have time!

+ val-* @ 11:55 AM

_________

have you ever wanted to care for a person
yet social stigma holds you tight in your position,
rendering you helpless

every trip leaves me coming back home to a different set of reflections.
likewise for this trip.
when u're away, the smses you receive before you go,
the smses you receive while u're away, and those that you get when u're back.

im glad for the trip.
it clears my thoughts and refreshes my mind.
i think i know what direction i should head towards now(:

+ val-* @ 2:43 PM

_________

bintan trip was really awesome. i really hate my pathetic vocab, but that's just the word for it. i think out of my overseas trips this must be the best yet!it's the perfect company, perfect weather, perfect activities. you probably wouldnt agree with me, because it wasnt sunny all day; it poured on the 1st day and drizzled on the 2nd day. it wasnt that all the activities went smoothly; it rained when we were snorkeling and we had to head back slightly earlier, we rode the elephants in the rain(that was quite fun though). but i still had fun!! i was really happy all day long for the 3 days cos i really love the sun sand and the sea and all the other land activities that i got to try!=D

i guess i'll go for a brief mention of all the activities i did:

day 1
reached at about 1230 sg time, 1130 bintan time. eat lunch which wasnt fantastic but ok. played badminton cos it was raining. it was really funny cos we kept laughing at each other and mainly at sam cos she can only hit the shuttlecock in a certain manner and cant really be bothered to run around LOL. then we went for full body indonesian traditional spa! it was damn shiok, although some parts were really painful and i thought i was going to die when they cracked my head,neck and torso (felt quite shiok after it was cracked but i was damn scared cos she looked like she was going to judo me). then we checked into our hotel and went to nua at pool which looks like the infinity pool at mbs!and the jacuzzi there was damn shiok also LOL.went back to cook pasta for dinner. at first it looked damn alot but we actually finished everything cos we were damn hungry i guess LOL.then we just chillax play cards and drink, shiok max. went to sleep at 11, which is 12midnight in sing.pretty early but i guess when u're overseas your sleep time kind of screws up.

day2
wokeup to a bright sunny day=DD went for a buffet breakfast and bought an activities pass which includes about 8-9 activities for just 40bucks!cheap yo! went to kayak first which was abit tiring, but it was quite fun cos it's my first time kayaking(can you believe it LOL). but half the time we were taking photos and nuaing somewhere out in the sea LOL.we're damn chill really(: and cos we didnt bring a watch, when we went back to return the kayak they said we still have 20min out of the 1hr more!LOLOL.see how slack we are man. then we went to nua around on the beach and then we snorkeled!!didnt rent the boat out cos it's 40bucks per pax, damn ex!so we had to swim out from the shore to the nearby island to see the corals.we barely made it before it rained.saw alot of dead corals and very few small fishes. but i was quite proud of myself cos when i saw the corals i got reminded of the different patterns of corals.although i cant rmb the names of the patterns but i can recognise the diff patterns and appreciate them haha!guess nat heri's quite cool but just dont ask me to rmb the names LOL.my 1st time snorkeling too (im damn noob man) and the water kept getting into my mask at first cos i wasnt used to breathing through my mouth=x drank a few mouths of sea water bleah.but it got better as we went along!had to chiong back to the shore cos it started raining, although i could swim quite fast with the flippers but wah it takes leg muscles to move it man.and cos there was the snorkel pipe so i didnt have to come out of water to breathe, so i just continued staring at the fishes when i swam back.and cos i was swimming along the island on the way back i actually saw more stuff than when we were heading towards the island lol.it's really fun man. i would want to go for a proper snorkeling session next time(:

then cos it was raining we walked to another part of the resort (yes in the rain but we were wet alr anw) for land activities. on the way we saw a mini wildlife reserve!it was damn cool man!has like really hugeass pythons(thrash those in sg zoo man) many alligators, king cobra, turtles, fishes and really cute deers!!the deers were feeding on a stack on grass, and a few rooted in the grass and ended up having haystacks btwn their anthers LOLOL.it was a damn funny sight haha!when we reached the rain had stopped, so we did the flying fox 1st cos it takes the least time!i thought it was quite high at first but it was alright!but u had nothing to cling on so it's abit scary!but it's really okay, the speed was just right and it feels really good!!then we went horseriding, the horse is called monica haha.i actually like the feeling of sitting on the horse and having the horse trot!it's abit bumpy but if u go with the motion it's a nice feeling, like a real merry go round seat that goes up and down LOL.then we went to ride the elephants. by this time it was drizzling again but the elephants actually likes the rain cos it keeps them cool!so we rode them with the steering man carrying an umbrella.i think it was a really cool experience but uh less comfortable than sitting on a horse.and the elephants ears keep flapping onto my leg.not exactly painful but it's prickly cos elephants are super hairy!!and their hair obviously aint soft. after that we got to take photos with the elephants and we even saw pple feeding the elephants bananas.the elephants just pick up with it's trunk and throw it into its mouth. reminds me of the arcade game of this cloth girl with a super huge mouth and u throw balls in it, cos the elephant obviously doesnt need to chew the banana man.damn cool.

then we tried air rifle!!i love this man!me and sam totally thrashed the guys at this.we had 15 pellets each and i shot down at least 5 plates, sam also around there.the guys barely shot down 2 haha!we've got secret talent man!too bad for ns that we dont have to serve, not that i want to really(: then we did archery.has like 3 targets of different distance, i actually manage to shoot on the 2nd furthest, not on the bullseye but at least i hit the 3rd ring from the bullseye, not too bad=D and i hit the bullseye for the nearest one!it's quite a feat since there's nothing u can use to gauge where u're shooting, at least the rifle has that aiming thing haha.

yeah that's all for the land activities!but i really enjoyed them cos i get to try all these new things that i've never tried in my life!then we went back to the beach nearest to our hotel to chill and fool around, before bathing and heading for dinner, buffet steamboat!we went abit late though, but we still had enough time to eat. it was quite shiok!we were all spamming the beef LOL. after dinner we went to bowl cos it's in the package too.just 1 game though!i scored 79 and i had the highest score, cant believe it. i think bowling is really quite fun and i should do it more in singapore!the sucky thing is that my thumb's nail always chips off when i play bowling=x had to file it off nicely when i came back to sg cos it kind of ate into my skin=x but it was still fun!no pressure at all cos there was only us haha!then it was back in our villa for more chilling and playing cards and laughing at each other.

day3
just breakfast and then we headed back to singapore.i didnt really want to leave!i dont mind forgoing another few more days of internet for more chillax sessions at the beach!guess i really really love water=DD but i was really glad to be back in singapore also somehow(: it's still home!

so im back to my mundane hol life once again. i wonder if i made the right choice of doing batch 2 cos dammit really everyone is in batch 1 man. but i wouldnt trade my bintan trip for anything so i would have to settle for batch 2(: dont really mind that much la, still can have dinner with friends although they are most of the time super tired. jiayouuuuuuuuuuu friends!

+ val-* @ 10:50 PM

_________

yay bintan trip tmr!
exciteessssssss=DD

going to disconnect for 3days,
damn i cant roll!!!LOL
but that aside i kind of thing it's a good thing,
it's a different kind of break,
where you return to mother nature and bask in its glory
the glorious sun sand and sea(:

anyway i had my 1st dose of sun sand and sea today at pasir ris park with jiahui(:
cycling has never felt so good with really good weather and just the right amount of sun and bouts of wind(: treated ourselves to yakun followed by nydc desserts!=DD

such a shiok day(:
i was extremely happy!
plus i had a really entertaining convo with a friend!
made me laugh like nobody's business LOL!
and my mum just came back with korea with lots of goodies for me=DDD

seeyou guys in 3 days!=D
bintan here i come!

+ val-* @ 2:42 PM

_________

do the right things
(because it's the right thing to do)

people are often unreasonable,illogical and self centred.
forgive them anyway.

if you're kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

if you're successful, you'll win some false friends and some true friends.
Succeed anyway.

if you're honest and frank people may cheat you.
be honest and frank anyway.

what you spend years building, someone can destroy it overnight.
Build anyway.

if you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world your best anyway.

You see,in the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

-credited to mother teresa.

apparently there are more anyway phrases, and it's called the paradoxical commandments. i saw this in a photo that kaye posted on fb, and i never found a quote more applicable than this. i think it is pretty self explanatory for me to add on any of my own interpretations, but the most impt would have to be the last two lines. i've always known that we should be accountable to God and not man, but i guess the first part of the anyway quotes just put things into perspective for me(:

+ val-* @ 11:24 AM

_________

i am indulging in sara bareillles songs.
it's a sudden infatuation haha.

my holiday life seems so gay now=D
have quite alot of plans coming up and i feel really happy and blessed for all that's happening(:
somehow, these 6 wks feels really short, and after that it'll be 6wks of preceptorship and immediately school will resume. kind of fast. and with choosing batch 2 comes with the consequence of not being able to have all the fun i like but having to revise what i've learnt as well. but i guess that wont really take up a large part of my 6wks because these 6 wks is really too precious to waste studying it away(:

enjoy life first!=DD

+ val-* @ 12:32 AM

_________

today, when i woke up and laze around my bed,
one sara bareilles song popped into my head(:

+ val-* @ 1:06 PM

_________

today, or rather ytd, was a pretty interesting getaway from home day. met up with someone i'd never dream of going out with alone, but it turned out okayXD

had lunch at soup spoon (yummy!), followed by arthur. arthur was a really great movie, less of a comedy, more of a drama love story that was pretty touching and had a happily after ending(: the nanny did the movie a whole lot of justice, there were some really funny parts that i couldnt help but laugh. for example, if you see this:



who in the right mind will say, "what is this? simetewotefssss?!"
LAUGHOUTLOUD.

and convos like,

"why didnt you tell me earlier"
"i dont want you to feel guilty"
"then why do you tell me now"
"i want you to feel guilty"

just imagine this 4 lines being uttered alternating btwn 2 persons without pauses in btwn.
LAUGHOUTLOUD.

but it was a really touching and nice ending.
the girl-next-door personality of the girl was really attractive(:
kind and unassuming, yet not entirely gullible and stupid.

then we headed to sb.
i finally got an sb card!it looks quite nice leh!=D

heh.found an image of it online(: only had 2 choices and this one looks vintage and just very my style. the other one was limited edition but unfortunately pretty ugly oops.LOL.
i even contemplated getting a sb tumbler which highly likely i'll get the next time, because i decided to enjoy life like an englishmen before i get tortured for 6mths. my key activity would be to nua at sb for a nice cup of coffee and read my accumulated stash of unread bks throughout last sem.i think i have abt 8 so it's all i need to keep me happy=D currently reading the lost symbol - dan brown, which i got for 5bucks at a sch bazaar=D=D=D

outstanding from my previous stash meant for dec 10: persuasion - jane austen, rogue - danielle steel, amazing love - corrie ten boom, your relationship with God - dr gary smalley.
outstanding from this sem's stash: david copperfield - charles dickens, the adventures of huckleberry finn - mark twain, mansfield park - jane austen, the tempest - william shakespeare, last to die - kate brady.

wow, i have 10books including lost symbol to read.haha just decided to do a tally. i have some really thick books in there and i think it's going to take me awhile! im so spoilt for choice bleah. im quite excited to start of david copperfield next but it's abt the thickest amongst the 10 :O
and im quite sure when preceptorship starts i wont be able to read much!which means there'll be more carrying over to the holidays!maybe i shld read during sem time but that would be too tiring!i like to have a clear mind and be able to read for hours and hours without interruption!

and besides reading, i have 120944 things that i want to do this hols!
i've 2 dramas that i notably want to watch: cinderella sister and hotaru no hikari 2! maybe i shld switch to watching dramas during school term instead, more manageable than reading a book during sch term, and more stress relieving!
and i want to suntan(i look like a ghost now),i want to bake, i want to do my art and craft stuff, i want to plan for my church camp, i want to go for a trip, i want to dance.
boo,why can't i have the 3mths to myself=( maybe i should waste less time on monopoly millionaires, then maybe i'll have more time for all these(:

as of now, my mon tue and thu nights are taken up, and maybe some fri nights as well.
and alternate sats. but my day time should be quite free la, and the other nights are to meet my poor friends who are suffering what i'll be doing in 6wks time.
jiayou my friends, no slacking for me too cos i realised im so dead by the questions the preceptors will ask. or rather, i'd still mainly slack la.studying now is damn no life haha!

+ val-* @ 11:34 PM

_________

today most of my friends would wake up with mon blues.
and so did i.
because while they are slogging their guts out,
i have no one to go out with=(

but i also kind of like chilling at home and reading my books and doing my own stuff so it's kind of ok.
and it suddenly feels like 6wks is going to pass damn fast,
cos im going to spend half of 2 wks overseas.
and still got to plan on how to visit them at the hospitals cos all choose different hospitals hmm.
better cherish this hols and chiong all the books because no more such holidays!quite saddening.

+ val-* @ 3:16 PM

_________

i feel really sad for george yeo.
it'll be great if ltk etc went to places like tampine grc or sth.
sigh.

not much that i want to comment about really.
the rest of the results are quite whatever.
i just feel particularly defensive for george yeo.
although i guess ltk they all really deserve it too.

+ val-* @ 2:21 AM

_________

i read my bible study notes today and i reflected on my life:


God quietly looks on from His dwelling place, watching His purposes for the nation unfold. Have you ever wondered how your frenzied activities and desperate alliances look to God as He views them from His dwelling place?

Sometimes i see myself as a superhero girl, no matter what happens at home, at school, wherever, i can always come out with the solution to things and make things right. When troubles come, being the efficient me, immediately i will troubleshoot it with my own strength and wits if it is within my means, and think of all means and ways to make it right. I take up 139585025 things each sem, knowing somehow i can juggle everything and handle my core responsibilities as student and children at the same time. All the time i busied myself with the 109342383 things, God just sits there in his big arm chair, and prob look at the sweating, flustered, troubled me with amusement.

maybe it's time to take a break. i've always said that but it never happens to me. perhaps because if i were to one day drop all my activities, i would find out how empty and meaningless my life is.

So it says in Ecclesiastes 1:2
“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

we always like to use this verse in a joking manner,
more so in the analogy of sour grapes.
when we can't get something in life,
we console ourselves saying,
aiya, meaningless! meaningless! it's okay!

perhaps the reason why i never took it seriously,
or rather, view it in another perception.

i struggle, with knowing all these and the futility of my flustered life, and also my physical need being part of this world. it is never easy to draw the line or strike a perfect balance. i think i would be happier if i had the true peace and true happiness from God, but the inertia to push myself past that line!

In Ecclesiastes 3:11, Solomon actually puts his finger on why happiness is so elusive: He says, "God has set eternity in the hearts of men." We're made for something that will last forever, and nothing that doesn't last forever will ever fill the hole in our heart. In fact, we were made for a personal relationship with God, the only One who's big enough to fill that hole because that hole was made for Him.

there, everything points towards the need of every human, to fill our hole with the eternal. seek ye 1st the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be given unto you. this is the answer to balance i guess. God is not asking us to give up on this life or our physical needs, but to rearrange our priorities such that we can gain true peace and happiness and enjoy the life God has given us. but humans like me are just to short sighted, and despite knowing all these and having constant reminders, it really isnt that easy to have a paradigm shift especially when life seems pretty good now. and hence the 2nd passage in the devotion gave me the answer:

God called His people to believe in Him, but when they preferred security by association with people in the world, He sometimes removed their false security so that, undistracted, they would trust Him again.

i kind of things that's what's happening to me now. people only cry for help when they're in trouble. in good times, they will grow proud and complacent and forget their benefactor. the more prideful and the more power and knowledge you have, the harder it is to bring you down to a point where you would cry for help. so God removed all my false securities. my friends, my family, my achievements, my pride, etc. He humbled me (although i've a long way to go to be truly humble), He made me cry out to Him more than ever, He made me realise my iniquities. but God never stops there. He will be the one carrying me through. where you used to see 2 sets of footprints, now there's only one. because He'll carry me through.

+ val-* @ 2:08 PM

_________

today is a taste of rest, finally.
watch batsu game
which was really entertaining as usual
painted my nails,
experimented with different colours of my new zoya stash
feeling like life just cant be any better(:

the past two days have been a mad rush
although i really enjoyed myself
but i really needed the rest after exams.
dimsum and the diff flavoured xlbs were really great
kbox was fun and entertaining
macbeth was really awesome!
haha,not much description, im feeling lazy lol.

ytd was paint a home,
i had alot of fun drawing and more so painting
and also hanging out with the pple there,
although it was kind of anticlimax that i wasnt feeling well.
decided to pack up and check out of pgp ytd,
and since i was eating dinner with jiahui
i was chionging everything in 2hours
wah carry all the stuff down until my hand couldnt stop shaking after that
felt really tired
so dinner was really great
cos it was super chillax
and had free bread and butter cos we ate at cafe cartel(:
then bagbag came to join us=DD
we ate tauhuay and talk about all sorts of stuff
so it was a really great day=D

i love spending time with friends.
but i also love spending time doing my own stuff at home.

so today is me day!
and so is tmr actually,
got nothing until dinner haha.
after i finish polling i shall start on my many story books=DDDD
and it's going to be crab for dinner=DDD

+ val-* @ 10:19 PM

_________

i think there's too much hype about the nitty gritty this time.
and instead of pointing fingers at either side,
bring out your own good in the first place.
it's absolutely childish,
like having a pillow fight with no substance.
and youths politically apathetic?
no,no longer.
but i do think youths are abit more hot blooded,
need to cool down and see the big picture.
im sure both sides have done things to anger people.
it's difficult to see what can be offered with just cheap talk.
for now, let's just pray before we drop our votes off.
for who is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords?
no one else but God, the Almighty and sovereign God
who determines who shall rise and who shall fall.
and all earth will submit to His authority one day.

+ val-* @ 4:21 PM

_________