just a quick one.
my 3hrs talk ytd plus 3hr talk today with ceh has made me slightly more motivated about my project.
like i dont really mind pia-ing so much now cos i feel that yes i can make it!
but i need to find some way to free up a portion of my day. maybe i should convert to doing lab at night instead haha.it's quieter and i can concentrate better with no one arnd like today haha.
and suddenly i feel like i have alot of time to do my stuff with just 1 day off. i think from now on my weds will be free entirely which is quite dumb cos it's my free day, but it's the only way i can plan my time!unless the chem part takes my weds up again haha.
and im so proud of myself im caffeine free for today! (so far cos im grabbing koi later whoo!)
been so reliant on caffeine recently that it bogs me. then i realised that actually i can survive without caffeine in lab, u know how when sth needs u to really focus then u somewhat forget ur tiredness haha. doesnt apply to reading journals though lol.

okay i said a short one so im off to read my journal hee.


+ val-* @ 5:49 PM

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this weekend has been so fun!
i was happy i went for night cycling! i was really really keen to go cos i think it'll be the last time i get to go in a loooooooooooooooooooooong while so i was really glad when it was changed to fri. tue was just madness, i can't imagine not being able to sleep at 8am when i reach sch cos i gotta go lab at 8am on wed!i just totally conked out at 8am after night cycling, waking up to my alarm at 3pm only to find myself paralysed on my bed cos my entire body was aching and i have a few big blue blacks on my thighs and calves from banging myself against the bike for unknown reasons and my knees were pretty much incapable of supporting my body.after i woke up i did nothing but nuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.and ate lunch supposedly.and i just sat at my couch and watch tv which is something i havent done in a long time. and then before i went to church for choir i finally dragged myself out of the couch to vote for mr president.thankfully i didnt have to wait long. then i went for church choir which was really fun as usual and enjoyable, and then when i reach home i popped by daiso to shop abit and did someone's present HEEHEE(: it turned out quite nice i think so im quite happy heh. i love doing artwork(: so there goes my sat i slept at 12 and i actually conked out AGAIN despite my last round of slp being just 9hrs ago. i think night cycling just killed me badly. signs of ageing omgosh!

then today it was church i could barely last through sunday sch. a coffee boost during the break made me super awake during sermon (hurrah!) so at least i wasnt slping, was quite attentive heh. and then today is book sunday so some christian books were on sale and i decided to get 1 called "living the book", i was slightly hesitant cos i have so many unread books at home, but one of my resolve this yr is to read the bible properly (it's like high time) but i don't really know how to start?i dont mean like bible reading schedules but how to approach my reading and understand and apply what i read?which is what this book is all about so i just had this gan dong to buy it haha. hopefully i find time in btwn fyp to read it gosh! im not even completing my readings NOR my sch work=x that aside, i went home and played the piano abit, although there's loads of work waiting to be done but i couldnt resist cos i havent touched it for quite awhile since i stayed in sch=x and by the time i pack for hostel im out of the house again to watch a choir concert in which 2 of my church frens are performing in. the concert's really good!felt quite touched by some songs and there was one song that was so good i had goosebumps!and i was very inspired by the conductor!she was very good at expressing what she want, like even though im not in the choir and this is the 1st time im seeing her i feel i know exactly what kind of feeling she wants the piece to have?u dont have to know music to understand her actions.truly inspiring. then after that i drove back to hostel with 2 other guys of my age (there's only 3 of us of the same age) and we decided to eat supper cos we were famished. that was like at 10. went to clementi and realised there's only macs and actually it was closing at 11. so we went to one of their rooms in ntu to eat the family meal (oh gosh there's so many things, super sinful!) and ended up talking till about 1plus and then i decided if i dont go back im going to slp super late cos my hair wont dry and so will they cos they were planning to do work=x which i dont know if they're still doing work but im still awake at 3am gosh that's like my latest in eons other than night cycling. and considering i have lab tmr at 8am why am i writing all this down at this time man?! but i just had to record this so that i can grumble later on how fyp made me a no lifer soon enough. it was quite bad the last wk alr so this weekend was just an awesome break, not referring to slp at all though, im still pretty slp deprived! and a coffee addiction that im scared to kick in case i screw up my labs by dozing off while pipetting or something LOL.

and yes i have tons of work piling up. i kind of want to whine cos tmr is supposed to be hol but nus freaking dont have but i have lab in the morning, lect from 12-2 and lab in the afternoon tmr. plus bsf at night gosh i havent done the homework this is bad. i can't wait for hari raya cos although i have lab in the morning at least i dont have lects in the aftn so i can clear some work!!!im desperate for the free time cos i dont even have time to print my notes now cos im in lab before the shop opens and way after the shop closes=x sad max. okay enough ranting if not im becoming a real panda soon.nites world!


+ val-* @ 2:28 AM

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Lessons from Noah’s Ark
1. Don’t miss the boat
2. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark
3. Don’t listen to critics; get on with the job that needs to be done
4. Build the future on high ground
5. For safety’s sake, travel in pairs
6. Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs
7. When stressed, float awhile
8. The Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals
9. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting

i saw this on someone's fb status (again) and i just had to copy this here, because the last sentence is just so beautiful and awe-inspiring(:


+ val-* @ 6:23 PM

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想跟我吵架 我没那么无聊
不懂得道歉 我没那么聪明
好想要回到我们的原点

你又在哭泣 我给不了安慰
我又在摇头 有那么点后悔
爱情的发展已难以回头 却无法往前走

但身不由己出现在胸口
两颗心能塞几个问号
爱让我们流多少眼泪

你的眼神充满美丽 带走我的心跳
你的温柔如此靠近 带走我的心跳
逆转时光到一开始 能不能给一秒
等着哪一天你也想起
那悬在记忆中的美好

why is it that whenever i stare at that photo i feel like this is it.
well it'll never be it.

Can You Feel My World
真实的我没办法伪造
Can You Take My Hands
真诚你会感觉到



+ val-* @ 9:31 PM

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You need God’s wisdom for the decisions you face.Perhaps God has placed you in a position of great responsibility,and you feel overwhelmed by the decisions you must make.It may be in your role as parent,or friend,or leader that you long for the wisdom of God.Pray that God will fill you with His Spirit of wisdom so that through the decisions you make you can live your life effectively.I felt very encouraged by Krister's fb status. Although i guess im not really that overwhelmed by my responsibilities now, but i do hope to live my life effectively and happily(: and i hope others will too!

"Give Thy servant an understanding heart to judge Thy people and to know good and evil. So God said to him, 'Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked...'" (1 Kings 3:9-12)
Learn from King Solomon(:

I also saw the following short story in my fellowship's group.
Question: Why doesn’t God answer all of Job’s (and our) questions?

This question assumes that if God answered all our questions, it would be easier to believe. This is not true. Trust goes beyond answers. Sometimes, questions become a way to avoid trust.

Take, for example, a little girl invited to jump off the stairs into her father’s waiting hands. She asks, “Will you catch me, Daddy?” He answers, “Yes, I will!” She may jump or she may proceed to ask endless versions of her first question. If she does jump, it will be more because of whom she knows her father to be than because of his answer to one of her questions. The fact that she jumps does not mean that she has run out of fears or questions; it means that her trust is greater than her fears or questions.

In the end, we must trust God more than our capacity to understand God’s ways. The lesson from Job’s experience does not forbid us from asking questions. Often these questions will lead us to the reasons for our suffering. But Job’s experience also warns us that we may not be able to understand all our suffering all the time, or even any of it some of the time.

God doesn’t answer all of our questions because we are simply unable to understand many of His answers.sometimes it just takes a little trust and faith to take the step fwd(:


+ val-* @ 8:50 PM

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thanks friends, dont have to worry about me im alright(:

today was a happy day(:
i was really elated after my meeting with my FYP sup, she's super awesome and nice and organised and better than what i could have wished for!
my only complain is that i dont have a focus for my project yet, but like she keeps reassuring me,
everything will just fall into place in the end=D
and because she's super organised and systematic i know i can trust her words=D
i dont feel like a FYP student under her; i feel like im just one of her other graduate student and she treats all of us the same in terms of sharing info (my lit review is minimal man!as in those that i have to find myself. those that she gave me it's a mountain) and her expectations of presentation, yet at the same time she knows that it's crucial for FYP to have results in a short period of time (so hurrah im definitely going to have results in fact prob in this sem) and then for the harder parts she's leaving it to the back when im more familiar with stuff! i love how she organises my timeline for me (somewhat) and do things step by step to take caution not to overload me too much at the start but yet at the same time stating her expectations of what i should know and look out for along the process so that i know what to do at each time point although i have the freedom to arrange my chem part around my bio part as she puts it. her meetings are always straight to the point and extremely systematic and the links are so logical and well explained that i have no problems accepting and understanding everything that she said and planned. she's very good at managing her team too!no wonder her students/staff all love working under her(: and im also following this super nice masters student. despite my almost non-existent chem knowledge and lab knowledge for synthesis she just teaches me everything really patiently cos she said she took quite long to get a hang of everything too! every small small thing she'll just teach me and even if i ask "stupid" questions again she'll still answer me with the same patience!omgosh im so blessed really=D

and my sups are really hilarious on email. can't really tell that c chai is like that but the way she and ceh converse is just hilarious!!!makes my entire FYP really enjoyable and more lighthearted and less stressful!!praise God really!!!=D

although i guess FYP will still be pretty stressful despite all this but i guess it could be worse!thank God for His grace(: it's a really happy day worth rmbing cos it'll keep me going for quite awhile!(:


+ val-* @ 12:55 AM

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had a good time with different groups of people today.
although im not feeling too well but i still felt much better than a few days before(:
very contented with my life today.
as for tomorrow, i'll leave it in the hands of my Heavenly Father(:


+ val-* @ 12:46 AM

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i am so irritable nowadays.
no idea why but im happier when im alone.
OMGOSH HOW CAN THAT BE VAL.
oh actually not really also la. i am quite happy with my friends too(:
i guess i'm just have to chillax abit more.
life isn't that bad really(:


i think on any other day, i would definitely have liked this photo alot. it's so calm and sharp and pretty...but down-to-earth and realistic.

but for today, the photo below has some sort of appeal to me, like it's beckoning me to a world of fantasy and dreams and i kind of want to answer its call.






+ val-* @ 11:51 PM

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i just came back to my room after a pretty slack day with no lessons and just hanging out with different groups of people. and i felt differently after the different encounters. dont know how to explain but i guess we can say that everyone is just different and so your friendship with different pple will be different? i think i can be really slow at understanding how relationships work and how people feel when they hang around me because i guess, im just quite insensitive to all these things. not because i dont care, i just can't read body language maybe?

and then when i opened my email today, i saw kaye's email reply(: i don't know why, but i felt touched enough to cry even before i read the contents and after i read it i felt really happy for her(: it's like i kind of understand why she wanted NOC so badly and what she is experiencing there without me being there although she didn't describe that much. maybe if i had faced myself i would have wanted NOC very badly too. although i'm not that interested in the business part, but the experienced gained while being kind of alone overseas away from my mundane typical student life and the stigmas of society and family would be very dear to me indeed.

the devotion i read today was also very thought-inducing. it was about leaving things uncompleted when u're just a few steps to the finishing line. like putting stationeries back in place after using it, folding clothes and putting it into the drawer instead of leaving it on top of the drawer, washing the dishes immediately after the meal instead of putting it in the sink only... it's little things like that, that really cultivates the act of being mediocre instead of finishing with excellence for even bigger things. i always think it's alright to leave my room cluttered as long as i know where everything is, but i learnt now that it may have influenced the way i live my life. Small things that i tell myself, it's alright la, just led me to adopt the "anything" attitude towards bigger things: my personality, my service, my relationship with God, my relationship with humans, my job, my life. have i really set time apart to really clear up my thoughts and to know what i really want in life? do i know my focus and what are my priorities? do i know how much i do love God and how much i want to serve Him? have i been haphazard in reading the bible and doing my BSF homework?

Dear Lord, thank You for demonstrating finishing well through the life of Jesus. I know Jesus could have stopped short of paying the price for my salvation. But He didn’t. For that I will be eternally grateful. Please help me push through mediocrity in my life and explore the fullness You long to bring. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

this is the prayer in the devotional, and i hope to make it mine too.

btw, i did think what matters to me in my life. family. i just want it to be happy and peaceful.


+ val-* @ 5:48 PM

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the reality of FYP starting soon hasn't really kicked in and i'm quite glad it hasnt haha.
although i'll definitely try my best to read up as much as possible before i meet my sup,
but now i just feel like reading my story book and watching my dramas heehee(: like what's wrong with that right, i wont be able to do it for a year omgosh but im sure it'll be worth it(:
i need to set a correct positive mindset regarding FYP and make the best out of it! i still found it crazy that i chose to do wet lab but i dont really regret my choice since i've alr chosen it heh(:

hopefully i'll be able to juggle my time and manage it wisely. and pray for wisdom on whether i should take PR5211!maybe i'll just take it for fun.like sit in for lectures haha.


+ val-* @ 3:27 PM

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i keep staring at PR5211 and telling myself no val you're going to kill urself on the exam day, rmb nat heri last year?
but omgosh i want to takeeeeeeee!
unfortunately i concluded that if i take this and not drop com med it'll still be counted in my cap although i have extra MCs!so hmm dilemma!
but i realised unless i do super badly for all my mods this sem my cap shouldn't be the worry.
then i think of my workload and i feel abit crazy.
HOWNOWBROWNCOW?=(
super duper tempted.


+ val-* @ 11:59 PM

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this year's birthday has been awesome!
somehow every yr there'll be some shitty unforgettable moments but this yr it's been relatively peaceful(: well maybe that's cos the shit came 1 week before!

anyhow, i had a wonderful time starting with saturday! (that is, when my birthday celebration starts!)

i am abit lazy to go into details heehee, just wanna write sth for memories sake.

saturday
i went to sentosa with zhihao jocelyn and shueli.
it was super fun!
ate lunch at seah im, walked the boardwalk into sentosa.
i got to soak in the water which is something i really love to do under the sun heehee (they BOUGHT clothes cos i forgot to say i wanted to get wet earlier so touched!)
then we played the luge, ate icecream (freaking 4.50 for cornetto), watch ifly(the stunt was really cool!), took picture with the singapore flag and heart shape, watched 4D pirates, ate dinner at chillis (the food was not bad!) and ate my 1st birthday cake (a lava cake), played a 2nd round of luge and walked back to the main island through the boardwalk which was really pretty at night with all the lights!
and im lazy to upload photosXD

sunday
dinner with rachel cheryl zhixin evon at sweet dynasty!
although i loved the company and the food but the crowd happened to be exceptionally noisy that day and we couldnt really hear each other talk omgosh so annoying.
so we left for vivo for desserts at a HK cafe forgot the name. where i ate my 2nd cake heehee.omgosh the photo is super unglam thanks to rachel anyhow feed!i feed the rest until how glam can!then we went to take pictures at the boardwalk cos it's so pretty heehee(: did stupid things like trying to do some stupid action to ask the crepe guy what time does it open cos we didnt want to walk into the shop (no we didnt actually do it in the end), and making rachel jump on 10 lights on the floor at 1 shot cos they change colour.

monday
it's my birthday!fortunately or unfortunately for weepin weeboon yongsheng weixian xinyi cheryl xiaohui they were made to climb bukit timah hill with me muahahahahaha because this suaku here has never climbed it before in the 22 years of her life.so pathetic hahaha.
it was quite fun actually!we didn't take the main trail because xiaohui knew another path. it went up and down all the time and it was pretty muddy cos of the rain the day before i guess. i was alright until the super steep part where there's alot of stairs. my heart gave up i tell u. after a while i had to rest cos i was panting so badly heehee. result of not exercising for the full 3 months of holidays gosh! when i finished that steep climb i totally tachycardia-ed. can feel my intracranial pulse pounding lol.super chui. but finally we were at the summit yayy!!!got a sense of satisfaction really=D on our way we saw alot of old aunties and uncles who overtooked us.we so lousy heehee.but i kind of wished we climbed abit slower so that we can stop to look around instead of looking at the step ahead of us all the time. it was still fun anyway and i enjoyed the climb=D=D

then it was chilling at bag's house before going to pepperoni pizza at binjai park for lunch!lunch was pretty awesome!we had the 21 inch XXL pizza super shiok!their pizza is like timbre's, i wouldn't say it's super awesome but it's good!for awesome pizza go skinny pizza i really love their unique flavours that are super fragrant and savoury!then we cabbed to chinatown for 10dollar ktv!i was thinking why the other half took so long to come but it was cos they went to island creamery to get cake for me!!it was super yummy i love it thanks=DD just abit hard to eat cos it melts on my tissue haha. can i recommend awfully chocolate chocolate banana cake that's just around the corner next time?heehee so greedy. it's just easier to eat la cos not icecream. i really really love the island creamery cake otherwise!!<3<3

kbox was fun as usual!somehow everyone sang better this time compared to the last time, maybe cos it's in the aftn and not at night when we're all super tired alr. love all their singing!all sing so nice my ears were very blessed ytd heehee(: got andy lau with me and xinxin's super nice voice and xiaohui's mini concert haha. and i got to hear cheryl and weixian sing also heehee(: and my usual kbox khaki bag and weepin with their jing dian ge qu that i always like to listen to them sing heehee(:

then at bsf after group sharing they sang a birthday song for me too!we took a group photo again and i had a card from audrey!

then i went to find my mum at her workplace and there was a unit selling korean earrings next to my mum's unit. i was talking to the auntie who was asking my age, then i just shunbian tell her i just turned 22 today haha. so she sold a pair of earrings to my mum at cost price!!whee super cute!it was the exact 2 charms that bag bought for his friend but it's wayyyyy cheaper heehee(: love it!

and i went home to open all my presents!thanks shue zhihao jocelyn xinxin neohneoh and xiaohui!!i really love all ur presents=DDD really pleasant surprises=DDD
thanks everyone!!!! for making my birthday this yr so happy!

and the last thing i did was to reply my fb wishes.it was crazy omgosh i didn't realise pple still use fb to wish pple so much!me for one usually dont bother to wish unless im close to the person haha oops. but im still happy to see the wishes! thanks alll!=DDD


+ val-* @ 3:40 PM

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i feel blessed with friends.
sometimes i feel that i don't treasure my friends enough.
but im thankful for every single one of you you you and you!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FRIENDS, I FEEL LOVED<3

+ val-* @ 10:57 PM

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i wake up in the morning..
just to get nagged at.
i want to write so much more but i think i'll stop here.

+ val-* @ 8:54 AM

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