Thursday, September 8, 2011
i need to be more thankful about things that happen to me.
looking back, i think i was much happier in year 1 and 2 somehow.it was like my life couldnt be better. of course i can still rmb the downs, but i was a more cheerful girl who would smile to everybody, was more optimistic etc. now i feel extremely sian everyday. i really miss staying at pgp, although sometimes supper are so late when i really want to slp but i really missed them. i felt that i lost the camaraderie and the fun that really kept my uni life going.
gosh i really am sounding like an old lady now. that time has somehow flew past and im going to work soon. looking back at my uni life (gosh why am i in such a pensive mood now), i think without my group of friends, i would have died in the course long ago, just that i never realised i would because they were there and i didn't. im not saying that now they're not, but year 4 is really such a independent and isolated and lonely year. true that u mix around with diff pple, but everyone is just so tired and feeling equally sian about everything.
since this sem started, i think my mood really fluctuated like crazy. it was ok then not ok then ok then now it's not okay. like i really really see my priorities now. i think i will next time when i go to work too.
i had a talk with someone today, it was so gloomy. it just made things even more depressing for me although i guess it is the truth. but maybe i was just in delusion for a longer time than most of my peers. i honestly don't know how to save myself. it's like i know how but my heart doesnt abide. im so broken inside, no human can fix it. my fighting spirit is almost all gone, and i just feel like giving up and hide in my own tiny world.
*edit*
on a happier note, i found my tumbler!!!!!=DDDD it really made my mood soar for the 1st time in what feels like ten thousand years! i felt so disabled without it and it really made my day=D afterall the dejection ytd (partly due to the realisation that i lost my tumbler) today is really not that bad. i managed to finish my lab fast today and it's the earliest i've reached my room in 10000years. and im going out tmr for jap food=DDDDD so happy really=DDDDD
+ val-* @ 9:28 PM
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