finally the storms in my life are over...almost.
at least it's kind of peaceful at home now for 2 days already. i hope it lasts.
and the pimples on my forehead are clearing!so happy!means that my xinjie is also slowly vanishing.
well, i thought i'm alright already. guess not. certain things just makes me upset all over again.
yet my instincts tell me to just move on with life, nothing good will come out of it but more disappointment.
yeah, so i'm moving on. gogo val!
anw cute patients are so dear, they make my pathetic sat happier(: i seriously thought today was friday and im going to have a 2 day wkend. fathope max haha.
on a side note, i miss dance:( but now no time for anything and if i do i just want to lie on my bed. omg incoherent. i sound like that nowadays. die.
+ val-* @ 9:51 PM
There is this PT who inspired me. and also this pharmacist who inspired me.
Somehow people nowadays are only discouraging, and most people are contented with a pretty laidback life without accomplishing much.
But through the stories of the PT with an arts background learning all the drugs from scratch, to the pharmacist who saw what was lacking and tried all means to fix the problems and sacrificing better jobs and pays, i'm motivated once more. It's so easy to want to slack. it's really addictive i'm sure you would agree with me. But no, maybe i can really do something bigger. It's still too early to say; i've just started and only now do i slowly begin to understand what pharmacists really do. someday i'll find the path that is worth all the talents that God gave. What God gave, has to be used for God and not buried in the sand. Time for alot of reflections, and also time for being alittle more motivated at work.
+ val-* @ 10:25 PM
there, i finally did it. and it did nothing but to make everyone more upset. yeah that's me. im a nuisance in this world. let me just die and perish forever. no matter how hard i try, it's always upsetting. no matter how i explain, things just gets worse. so i learnt to just keep everything to myself. then i'll die 1st and everyone can live happily ever after.
+ val-* @ 12:09 AM
seriously. i think i have absolute faith in my patience and tolerance level now. sometimes i wonder if i'll die earlier owing to all the pent up stress and frustration. i was going to try controlling my tears next, but i think if i even try to control that i'll die even earlier. no rest for the weary.
and once again i proved my point, best is never enough. to put in your effort never returns with good. sometimes i wished i was just daring enough to heck everything. i tried it once, it was scary enough. thrilling during the process though, really enjoyed it that time.
other than that, work is pretty enjoyable so far. although i am far from feeling competent (i really dont, i cant talk smoothly or organise my counseling points well). and whatever i learnt in sch i returned to the profs liao. even simple question like SE of NSAIDs i actually forgot. sigh. i'm just having faith in the Lord in guiding me through this 9 months and placing my trust in everyone's words saying that after the 9 months everyone will be competent.hokay ciao pple im emotionally exhausted.
+ val-* @ 8:02 PM
tired. somehow i feel less motivated to do work now. i don't know is it cos i lost it all since yr 3 or what but everyone is super efficient at completing their assignments!feel so stressed and underprepared. but i feel so tired when i reach home i can't do anything on the wkdays. die alr la.
+ val-* @ 11:56 PM
i.am.so.tired.
but am feeling blessed with a bunch of awesome colleagues!
everyone is so nice hahaha.okay maybe it's just the start but really i havent met anyone whom i have a bad feeling about haha.
it's very very tiring but i think it's really good training!although i kind of feel abit overwhelmed but if i take things one step at a time it should be okay:D
man i would have typed much more but am very very tired!
anw, i finally caught up with the current episode of running man<3
in any case, i'd probably rewatch from the start again HAHA.
the front episodes are funnier anyway.
anw sgh is occupying my nights but i should start doing work while it's still less busy!if i keep delaying i know im going to die haha. at the same time i still have so many pple to meet after im back from overseas! ikr, my time nv belongs to me myself and i. it's alright haha!i'll still find time sooner or later, am going to wait for this yr to pass 1st at least before i resume my dance etc!
anw, i finally have a conclusion to my 2month long misery. i guess i can finally close the chapter without regrets and move on with life:D
+ val-* @ 10:10 PM
HIIIII!!!! i'm finally back here!!!! (like anyone reads my sporadic entries haha)
actually i've been postponing blogging because so many things happened i dont know where to start lol.
and well i've been kind of busy..and any other time classified under free is labelled running man heehee.
i experienced so much ups and downs within this month after exams that i can't tell if im happy or sad now. i guess i'm now generally happy and contented, splashed with occasional bouts of unhappiness and stress.
1. gradtrip
it's freaking 28days long so i felt abit homesick towards the end. japan was really awesome and totally my place haha. want to go back again someday! i ate till i had a tummy gosh! full contentment in japan:D
as for taiwan, i have to repeat my sad story. basically the food's too oily or salty for my liking, i had food allergy that lead to swollen eyes, bedbugs from my hotel bed (WTH) and it was raining intermittently throughout the day for almost all 10days. if i really thought back carefully i had fun with the watersports and go cart at kenting, the scenery at wufengqi and qixingtan and chuhuo was beautiful, had a great time in jiufen and raohe in taipei, so i guess it wasnt that bad but the bad things were just overwhelming. ahhwells.
overall, i guess it could have been better. need to go with like-minded and less individualistic people next time, we all have too different personalities and preferences, although i'm quite unwilling to admit. as they always say, the company matters the most. lesson #1.
2. results
i guess there's really nth to hide so let's just say my semester results sucks to the core. almost pulled me out of 1st class haha. so what? no one will ask for SAP anw, not like they'll even ask for CAP. as long as i have my 1st class what else matters lol. plus good news: chalmer's award and valedictorian(: really feel ultra honoured and u can imagine my surprise when i received the email. of course i didnt expect it! i was so shocked the happiness didn't even get to me initially. made my taiwan trip slightly more bearable. anw, that only shows that God is ever faithful even when i threw Him aside for almost the whole trip, because no way i could have achieved all these without Him. lesson #2.
3. holiday
finally a proper rest when i came back from gradtrip...or so i thought. immediately news of the passing of my grandfather and my hospitalised uncle got to me at the airport. got me thinking about the fragility of life and being upset that i wasnt able to see my grandfather before he passed away. thankfully i visited him before i flew off, if not i'd feel guilty the rest of my life. he did dote on my and my bro alot although he didnt outrightly show it cos he tends to be quite reserved. live life with no regrets and cherish your dear ones. lesson #3.
been cold turkeying on running man cos i didn't bring my laptop overseas. i thought i would wean off my craze for it but nah it grew worse. so bad that i reached home from the airport at 1am and i watched 3episodes till 6am before i went to bedXD and the next day was runningman marathon. clocked 10episodes after 1st day back, check. i left singapore at episode 53 i think? nw i just finished ep80 HAHA. now i know how codeine and tobacco addicts feel. too bad i'll empathise but not sympathise with them heh. lesson #4.
and being the introvert me, having 28days of no privacy drove me nuts. me need personal quiet time everyday. so i was determined to not arrange for meetups although i really wanted to!!there were so many i didn't manage to meet after exams before i went on gradtrip!! but guess what, i still went out everyday zzz. it's really not that i dont want to meetup with those that i did, im just sorely lacking in personal time. had fun during all the meetups really, didn't regret going for them in the end haha. but of course i tried to minimise the time out of my house, the weather's killing me anw. reminder to self: give myself more personal time cos introverts really need the time alone. lesson #5.
4. book in
well..not me obviously, my sad day is next monday. speaking of which an annoying email announces what i'm supposed to read up on by 13 june. crazy, obviously im not going to touch anything work related nw if i can help it. need to make full use of my holidays while i still have them. anw, my bro got enlisted on thu hahaha. sent him off to tekong, so fun!ate army food which was not bad (i know it's just cos there's us haha), but it was better than school food anw. and tekong's a really pretty place, wish i could go there at night cos they say the stars flood the sky there(: in any case, i get to use my bro's hugeass monitor to watch runningman etc, shiok!
ok nth much else. just that i think i give pple the impression that i've been watching runningman and doing nothing else, but watch me agonise a day writing (and everyday thinking abt) my valedictorian speech, packing my room, read books, settling work stuff (rather unwillingly) etc. not that i have time each day to do much, sleep takes up 11hours?HAHAHAHA. my eyebags are bad from gradtrip and they havent been diminishing since im back despite the beauty sleep. guess i sleep too late but my slp cycle is abit screwed after sleeping as and when we commute around the cities and places in japan and taiwan. their trips are relatively long so i think i sleep average 3hours in the day and 7hours at night? japan was epic, for hakone we sleep 6 hours in the day and at least 8hours at night haha. it's in taiwan that we slept lesser cos more rushed, i almost couldnt take it cos there was one night we slpt 3-7 only.ok time for slp now, my last day of slping in tonight, sun gotta wake up at 8 as usual and mon is start of work!i can feel the monday blues alr...
+ val-* @ 3:07 AM