you know, the past years has been filled with reflections.
but i always end up at square one eventually.

sometimes i think: maybe i should just not think and live life as it comes.
now i dont even know where to go from here.

my entire year 4, was an awful year for me.
i think i never got over it.
the impact of FYP, my personal life, and my relationships,
they overpowered me.
i feel like they reset everything, that im back to my old self again.
the old self that doesn't care about anything, and doesn't want to care anymore.
i felt tired, and sick of everything.
and so do i now.

+ val-* @ 12:21 AM

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RAWRRRRRRR.

eightmoredayseightmoredayseightmoredayseightmoredayseightmoredayseightmoredayseightmoredays.

thank God for a really awesome buddy. if not i'll be really really upset by now.

+ val-* @ 9:16 PM

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i want to quit DI now. i love helping pple and answering questions. but SOMEONE is making it really annoying and scary and unenjoyable and stressful.

+ val-* @ 11:29 PM

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one week of DI has passed and im dismayed at my poor DI skills. i don't know what's wrong but next week i'll know.

anyway, life's been good. i still go home late because of other stuff but at least it's not work. i feel like slacking very very much. the more im pushed to work, the stronger the urge becomes.

and i think i have a lot to learn. i hate it when im asked to do something and then pple superimpose their will on me. if you want it then you do it, don't drag me in. i regret very much doing something now cos i just cant stand it lying around just like that, ultra inefficient. on the flip side, i guess i have to be more accommodating since im still part of the team and not in charge. i can proudly say i already did my part to the best of my ability and whatever happens now is none of my concern and i need to convince myself about it. because the world is unjust and unfair, and i need to accept it when it's out of my control.

+ val-* @ 7:04 PM

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finally, inpatient is over.
this post is a little late i guess, but inpatient had made it impossible to be posted earlier.

In any case, i'm thankful(:

To me, to be able to survive 3 months of work is an accomplishment indeed. Considering the fact that i had repetitive jobs and get sick of sth pretty quickly. I must say it had been fulfilling and once again reaffirm that my decision was a right one.

BUT THIS DOES NOT ELIMINATE THE FACT THAT IT WAS INHUMANE.

now that i'm kiao kia-ing in DI, living a no life life seems so long ago.

on a side note, someone please remind me to act blur live longer. save myself all the agony.

+ val-* @ 12:08 AM

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