soon, i tell myself.
+ val-* @ 2:34 PM
why did i not take MCs at all until now man.
it's the shiokest thing ever.
when i've been feeling like i haven't had rest in a long time, finally the day came that i fell sick.
it must be due to the influenza vaccine man!!totally regret taking it!haven't felt so sick in 10000yrs!
my throat felt abit ticklish on tue, but as usual i thought a difflam would solve it.
nahhhhh.on wed it was really hurting, plus i cld feel a fever zz.
so i swap all my dispensing duties and sat there to check scripts the whole day.boring.
even then i felt really bad.
the worse came during the CE. why can't phow ever end early?! in the end i cldn't take it cos i was feeling nauseous so i left halfway. should have left even earlier when she gave the toilet break. well at least the ce was quite useful just that i was really sick.
when i reached home, immediately i threw up the oreo cheesecakes and springroll and beehoon what not=/
so for once, i decided to plod to the GP to get an MC.
BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.
the only regret was i shld have taken 2 day MC rather than 1.
cos when i plod home from the doctor i vomited BILE.YUCK!
so today i unwillingly dragged my feet to work, and voila! when i reached office, i knew i won't be able to withstand a full day of work man.so i convinced myself to queue at the staff clinic (thankfully there wasnt alot of pple), also partly tempted to stock up my meds, and whoa the doctor gave me 2 day MC, so heehee tmr i don't have to work as well.
went home and slpt like a piggg. on and off cld still sense the fever rising zz. but at least i get to rest and chill and do some assignments even! an unofficial long hol for me, thu to mon heehee(:
+ val-* @ 10:52 PM
good news people!
val is enlightened(:
i think i've been too blinded by the glory of inpatient, the self-deceiving notion that clinical is the way to go.
That all other places are boring, that eventually u'll still end up in inpatient.
That clinics are boring, after a while outpatient becomes stagnant.
That retail is boring, there isn't even clinics there.
I've was fully self-psycho-ed that i wanted inpatient, and i even felt so after i completed inpatient.
(now that i think back, what did i like about it?)
the excitement?yeah maybe.
but thinking through what you actually do in a day, i found many frustrations in ward review, many inconveniences during bedside dispensing (except billing), boring job as ops team in the afternoon, and staying back for ward checks past office hours, the no life-ness in ip (yes i believe it continues after prereg don't believe in the nonsense ppl tell you).
Suddenly, i realised, maybe im not suited for inpatient work; it frustrates me.
Then i thought about my life goals as a pharmacist. Yes, i have high aspirations.
I have pple telling me to be like so and so in the future, thank you for having confidence in me.
But, nah. No management for me, i still love clinical practice.
I shall not reveal my goals here, but i can visualise myself 5 yrs down the road. and the future is bright(:
and what i can say is, outpatient will do me good. Now, i finally understood the golden words of those at NCC outpatient. They were the ones who planted that idea in me. They were the ones who made me realise what is most important as a pharmacist. Thank you.
Of course, for now i'm still into wk 2 of my outpatient rotation, so there's still more for me to explore and time for me to decide if this is finally the one i'd settle with. fingers crossed!
+ val-* @ 9:39 PM
i keep saying i don't have time to even stop and do some reflections, but in fact i do, judging from the amount of variety shows i watch per week. but im facing a midlife crisis (okay quarter) since last year and i've been escaping from it. because i feel ultra sad and upset when i think about it. and the issueS still aren't resolved. my life is still in a mess, and at twentythree i think i can't change things anymore. Or rather, i feel v tired to make the effort to change. i think i've lost my drive. i was tired and i wanted a peaceful and slowed down life. now that i've slowed down, i dont think i feel better, but i can't get up again. maybe a faster pace just distracted me from all this things i think about when the pace is slowed. all along i've been escaping.
+ val-* @ 11:10 PM
failed. aiyooooooooooooooooooo.
i actually didn't feel anything when i knew haha. dont know too stunned or that i half-expected it, but in any case reality is here to stay.
i could wallow in my disabilities or do something to make it better. Thankfully, valval belongs to the latter.
JIAYOU VAL!!!!
+ val-* @ 10:31 PM
my whole wkend just gone in a flash. stoopid irrelevant talk. i mean if i was listening to this talk 5yrs later i would have been grateful for this opportunity. but this is just too early. at least there's notes to bring home. i'll read it 5 years later. for now, it means it'll be a 13day streak to sgh until this coming sat. thank goodness my sun duty is the following sunday, if not can cry so tiring.
oh wait. i just realised tue is deepavali :DDDDDDDDDD
yayy that's 1 day break at least:D
actually the reason why im blogging is to type this: chataehyun<3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
HAHA. i know this should be typed on twitter instead but i shy HAHA. why is he so charming aiyerr. feels like another proof that i like married guys ewww. i need to quit that habit and look at bachelors lol.
+ val-* @ 12:12 AM
Can i say again how much i love my SGH peeps?(:
i think there was a period of time where things got slightly busier for all of us, and also there wasnt any PSS session nor any cpe session, and i took everything for granted that these wonderful bunch of people were always there for me.
but ytd, tdy and tmr there is this ultra superlicious long cpd that drags over 3 days. compulsory so we all had to turn up somehow. and i think alot of us thought of leaving. but the lively conversation with crazy topics just made people stay on and laugh together and go crazy together(: it's so awesome how now during pss sessions we sits together as one big group with the overseas preregs as well, and even still hang out tog although we still occasionally talk to our old cliques. and the endless laughter we all share about each other's funny moments!
sgh is a place many shun because of it's tough regimes and crazy work life (WHAT SOCIAL?!!). i guess i would have dreaded and regretted my choice if not for all this unity we have! and social life became possible because the "everyone-who-went-sgh-is-a-mugger-with-no-life" was actually surprisingly not true!! even i was pleasantly surprised heehee(: nights out on fris, post-viva celebrations, upcoming bbq and movie outings, and many many more still brewing in the pot -- gave us a glimmer of hope amist our crazy work life; something to look forward to now and then.
and the amount of encouragement i get is unimaginable! i guess that's what they mean by empathy. when you go through it, you'll know the bitterness and agony better and can relate to it better. how can some for work 4 days a week tell us they're tired and have no time to do stuff? similarly, how can we who are healthy and walking tell those who have medical issues that it's alright or even be able to find words to console them? which is why im glad sgh peeps are so supportive of each other because very few others can actually say much to comfort us.
if there's any reason for me to stay on, it'll be you you and you!im glad we'll be tog for at least another 2 years!
+ val-* @ 8:52 PM