life is hard. especially since this year started.
actually, since my whole life.
but again and again there were beautiful report cards at each stage of my life despite all the crazy shit i went through. sometimes i asked myself what do i want? being very goal-oriented, setting a goal spurs me on, and usually i don't realise all the shit until the job is done and then i would wonder how i actually got through all the shit.
i don't know when i started losing steam. to put it nicely, it was re-evaluation of my life's priorities, but the truth is, am i just afraid of getting my hands stained with shit so i just decided to be comfortable with life? or maybe it's a combination of both reasons. if u asked me when was it that i was happiest, i have no idea, cos ever since i slacked i was bogged down by other issues. i think i just need to get myself up and going and chiong that bit more. well i don't know. it's tough to decide for now.
in any case, i finally touched my piano for a significant amount of time. while i play, i feel myself again. while i play, i can calm down and think through things. while i play, i am enlightened. love music<3 nbsp="" p="">
+ val-* @ 10:19 PM