Yes, i haven't updated a while, because my life now is...hectic.
No, it's not all about work. I've also been traveling alot, partly to clear leave and also because i went with different friends and they all decide to go around the same time, so i seem to be flying here and there alot but soon im going to have a travel hiatus all the way till nov.
March was crazy; it completely flew past before i knew it. Went to ho chi minh and bangkok, both trips was blessed with peace and safety, thank God. It's really an eye opener to go to 3rd world countries and realised things arent that backward anymore. really thankful for opportunities to rest and relax!
These holidays were things i really looked foward to, and my motivation to work hard when i'm in sg. without these holidays i would really have burnt out.
You see, i actually completed training for acc, but i have a presentation tmr for acc and it took up quite a bit of time, except that i procrastinated alot because before this deadline i have a hell lot of others things to do! JCI is coming for our hospital (some accreditation audit) so some admin stuff to straighten out, took up quite abit of my time. and i started training for ibd in feb i think, and tutorials are every 2 weeks with things to prepare for, that took up most of my time. not to mention regular journal club presentations and glf assessment and all... now you know why im so thankful for all the holidays, because once im back things are in a constant whirl and mad rush to meet deadlines.
Now, the thing that spurred me to post today.
Basically for my clinic trainings, there is one other colleague who always start training with me. Thank God that all these mentors view us so favourably and are willing to invest their time and energy and effort to train us! He is a christian and a very nice one too, i'm always grateful to have him around to work hard together and striving to do our best. And we worked well together. i never really felt that there was competition between the 2 of us; he did better than me in school and i would think he would do so as well in the workplace, but it didn't bother me that much as long as i get to train for the clinics anyway. And through these clinic trainings, we actually interacted with each other more than before, and because he is a christian, we could also share about our church ministries and our spiritual lives. So it was really a blessing to have him around.
The problem came when i was approached to do another clinic. The mentor asked me in private, so i wasn't sure if he asked my colleague too. the last round for ibd they asked us separately too. So one day i just decided to ask him, and turned out he wasnt asked. at that point, nothing was really confirmed, so i told him to express his interest as well. subsequently the mentor didn't get back to me regarding this new clinic, so i casually mentioned it to the mentor. He said there was some internal issues so my training may not be so soon, but i could join the tutorials first. technically nothing was confirmed still, so i didn't mention it to my colleague. subsequently nearing the tutorial, i did get the email from my mentor that it's confirmed. i was really in a dilemma whether to tell my colleague or not, but i felt it wasn't fair for him to not know it. in fact, i wouldn't have minded if i started my training later and we could both train for it together again. so i told me colleague, and his first reaction was: i'm very happy for you! honestly i was more on the surprised side, but i was glad he was happy for me. i was afraid telling him he would be really upset that he didn't get the opportunity.
However, this morning he texted me and said he has sth to tell me about waiting and patience. i said, ok sure, but in my head i was thinking of man is he trying to hint me to not rush into training for all the clinics??
So he started texting - he was very happy for me indeed, but he couldn't help but feel a sense of being left out, and furthermore he did voice out his interest in the clinic too. so he spent some time ytd asking God why the door was not opened for him. He was upset with himself for having such thoughts, but if the reverse happened to me, i was sure i would have felt the same too. This morning, God gave him a reply: wait and patience. and he realised that perhaps for some good reason that he doesnt know yet, that God feels that its not the right time for him and suddenly he felt peace. Perhaps God has sth He wants him to do now that requires his time to be freed up. And he apologised for a lack of enthusiasm in his response the day before and thanked me for remembering him when i was asked for the clinic. He also encouraged me to give my best for the clinic and not be bothered by this issue. Although he has yet to realise the full reason for this but eventually he would understand on hindsight.
Do you know how much comfort and encouragement it was to me with his honest words? i can't imagine how it would be like if him or myself wasn't christian. It really spurred me to do my best for the glory of God. in today's sermon, it was about MH370, that God is still in control. Yes, God is still in control and He has the best plans for us. That i firmly believe. We read James 4:13-17, and when it came to verse 15: Instead you ought to say," if it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that". Nothing is outside of God control. We should cherish every opportunity and do our best for God's honour and glory. Even if the door is closed, seek Him and His will, one day we will understand.
+ val-* @ 3:20 PM