this week was...appalling.

so many things had happened that i don't even know where to start. it was like being overwhelmed just right after a nice holiday. which was a blessing indeed (i mean the holiday). so much had happened, so many uncertainties and decisions to make, it kind of already sapped all the energy i've gained back from the holiday.

there had been some unhappiness that the workplace with a colleague, some disagreements on how to do things and some hostility. but now that it's friday and i look back at the crazy week, i kind of can understand why the colleague was so touchy and unfriendly, and i admit i probably wasn't being understanding either, having my own share of troubles and worries.

you see, in the first place my week was fully packed, had tutorial/work stuff from tue-fri after work. it was only the wkends where they shifted the tue tutorial to the week after. i went to work early on wed for CE and on thu because i have my semi-annual evaluation/assessment on thu. imagine my stress level. i was kind of on the rocks towards the end of the week.

thu i hit my max tolerance. it started shittily with the train break down when i was intending to go early to prepare for my assessment, took a cab with a kb taxi driver. met with sarcasm first thing in the morning when i reached work, faced the hostility of my colleague mentioned above, went out to dispense feeling really shitty and trying to smile for my patients with a huge effort. the waiting time for long queue items was about 50min then, you can imagine the stress level we work at, preparing to be scolded by our patients. i had to be exceptionally nice to them. then one patient was really nice and tried to joke abit with me, she really made me feel 10249352 times better about the day! really appreciated it alot, especially on a day like this. then my assessor had to do my dispensing assessment at the busiest time of the day. imagine how frustrated i felt. got my lunch delayed thanks to the unannounced assessment, and continued horror in the afternoon. i felt frustrated right from the beginning of the assessment, and was so upset by lunch i totally broke down. picked up myself after lunch for another round of craziness in the afternoon. 2 hours into the assessment i really couldn't take it anymore. i could feel my eyes rolling in my head at every single moment, not even having the energy to defend myself and feeling really wei qu. fortunately it got better for the last hour of the assessment. in the end the assessment turned out well, but i was feeling too shitty and tired to even feel that happy about it. i was ranting alot to my friends recently, if you're one of them pls understand, i was really feeling too shitty about things and really needed to let off abit of steam.

today was really TGIF! the pharmacy was less busy and the colleague i wasn't on good terms with was in a better mood (so was i) and we worked better together today. unfortunately i was still feeling ultra drained bcos the night before i still had to prepare for tonight's tutorial and i slept really late even when i was nodding off during the preparation. still, i had a really good time with choonsiang yuyan and puiying today!! and magnum really made my day! really celebrated that this week is over!

another thing why this week was particularly stressful is because we were told a sudden news to consider for residency. technically, they wanted to make us do it but i have a kind boss who told us about it for us to consider. and he said we have to decide preferably asap, like in a day? with the amount of uncertainty, i really don't know what to think about it. there's alot to consider if you really want to consider. anyway, i made up my mind to do it in a day. it was kind of impulsive but when there's too many uncertainties, there's only one way: entrust it to God and decide. so i prayed that night, and i felt that everything was pulling me towards taking it up. yep, probably some of it was my own thinking too, i hope that's what God thinks is best for me.

so all in all, i really felt small these 2 weeks. my trip as recorded in my facebook album, was a pretty eventful one and i really felt God's presence with me and my dependence in Him. This week too, i depended on God more, simply because i didn't have the strength to face it myself. i don't think i would have survived without God.

You are my strength when I am weak, you are the treasure that I seek, you are my all in all.

there are many uncertainties, but my Lord is the Rock of all ages. in all changes there is a constant, God.
Thank you Lord.

+ val-* @ 12:43 AM

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